The New Year

For me the New Year brings hope…

Hope of happiness and health for everyone and hope to continue life with hope and faith. My grandmother passed away August 17, 2017 after falling in the spring. I loved her with all my heart. They say home is where the heart is and mine is broken. I have been writing again, modeling, taking photos. I know in my heart of hearts that I have to continue. My grandmother is one person who believed in me and knew that if I was ok with anything I did then that’s all that mattered. I beat to a different drum and that’s ok. That’s what makes life exciting. If we were all the same life wouldn’t be exciting and new! I know that I would not of done anything that I have done if I didn’t live with her and she taught me so much and all I can hope is that some how some way she is there she knows she is surrounding me with light and love knowing I will do the same for others. There are many people that influenced my life but not like my grandmother and I don’t any to lessen others in my life. I need to acknowledge that I always knew the day would come she wouldn’t be here and I she loved to 97 that’s a good long life and she was a great loving caring woman who deserves peace. But selfishly I miss her always and forever. All I can do now is rise up and make my accomplishments even better then when she was alive. She is with me now heart and soul. And for those of you who lost someone you love they are with you too. Make them proud. Feel their love. Feel their light!

Happy New Year! Let’s all make it a beautiful loving and great year for all mankind and of course animals! Plants and the earth!

Namaste🙏🏼

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I don’t know how I have energy but I do!

I feel energized when I should be in a ball over my grandma I never thought I could make it through this hard time. I dreaded this since I was a child. I never wanted to live without knowing grandma was around. And for some reason (thank God) I want to love more!

I want to embrace things more. Losing my dad and others close to me affected me but this is something so different I need to keep busy keep moving. Maybe because if I sit and think about it I will curl up in a ball. But I am hoping she’s right here watching over me and wanting me to want to live and love life!

Storage unit omg

Bringing stuff from upstate emptying my place here from clutter and reorganizing my storage unit I had everything put in the hallway. This guy must of heard me making noise came in and saw me w all this stuff. He said “Are you ok?” I said “yeah… organizing”. Lol. It was a puzzle of puzzles but I did it! And so happy now! Also exhausted now! Wow!

Saying goodbye

Saying goodbye to my childhood home is a very hard an emotional thing I am gonna have to do. I always knew the day would come but emotionally I am very torn to pack up my room at my grandmas. Because that was my salvation my place I was always able to call home. So many memories. Hard and sad time for me.

Hugh Hefner

I was blessed to have my dream of being in Playboy magazine come true. I wanted to be in Playboy since I was young and saw my idol Madonna in Playboy. Years later I got that wish but not just through my Sopranos layout thru sexy celebrities and the famous black and white back pages. As well as some special issues for up and coming photographer friends.

I had attended the Playboy Party like a Rock Star party several times. It was an amazing dream come true.

I admired him bringing nudity to mainstream. Instead of being ashamed of the human body appreciating it. He did so much for charities and especially animals which I didn’t even know about until att neon genesis the mansion.

He lived an amazing life and left a legacy that changed and shaped many many lives. R.I.P. Hugh Hefner and god bless!

Getting out and seizing the Day…. 

I thought that I was lost.and for a long time I was trying to find my way back to everything I loved. Acting, modeling, photography, creativity. Being social!  With. Y grandma passing away I thought I would lose myself more but the opposite has happened. I find myself alive. I find. Us elf back out looking for sting and getting back out there.today I went to Manhattan to the Natural Museum of History and wandered around Columbus Circle and ate at the porter houseIt was great and I know my grandmas spirit is with me. And I believe they with all my heart. So I am BACK and love it! Fro. The dark comes light and grandmas light is and will be my brightest of lights!🙏🏼

What a day

Today was fun my friend Deborah and I thank god for her! Moved tons of clutter to my storage unit but she helped me get rid of some stuff and she is a blessing. She said she got her work out in. I am grateful to have. Friend like her and thankful the universe brooght her in my life. She is a positive influence and she makes me think in ways that sometimes I forget and I am blessed for that.