So Many

So many nights, I cried myself to sleep
So many nights, I asked God to take me
So many nights, I lay restless praying it’d all fade
So many nights, I plotted the end to my life…

So many days, I didn’t want to go on
So many days, I was in a dark haze
So many days, I pretended I was okay
So many days, I thought I’m a walking mistake

So many prayers, I asked God for it to end
So many prayers, I asked God to take the pain
So many prayers, I asked God to forgive my weakness
So many prayers, I asked God to heal my heart

So many moons, I looked up wishing I was someone else
So many moons, I spent somewhere else
So many moons, I stumbled around confused
So many moons, I tortured myself with abuse

So many times…