I don’t know how I have energy but I do!

I feel energized when I should be in a ball over my grandma I never thought I could make it through this hard time. I dreaded this since I was a child. I never wanted to live without knowing grandma was around. And for some reason (thank God) I want to love more!

I want to embrace things more. Losing my dad and others close to me affected me but this is something so different I need to keep busy keep moving. Maybe because if I sit and think about it I will curl up in a ball. But I am hoping she’s right here watching over me and wanting me to want to live and love life!

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Storage unit omg

Bringing stuff from upstate emptying my place here from clutter and reorganizing my storage unit I had everything put in the hallway. This guy must of heard me making noise came in and saw me w all this stuff. He said “Are you ok?” I said “yeah… organizing”. Lol. It was a puzzle of puzzles but I did it! And so happy now! Also exhausted now! Wow!

Saying goodbye

Saying goodbye to my childhood home is a very hard an emotional thing I am gonna have to do. I always knew the day would come but emotionally I am very torn to pack up my room at my grandmas. Because that was my salvation my place I was always able to call home. So many memories. Hard and sad time for me.

Hugh Hefner

I was blessed to have my dream of being in Playboy magazine come true. I wanted to be in Playboy since I was young and saw my idol Madonna in Playboy. Years later I got that wish but not just through my Sopranos layout thru sexy celebrities and the famous black and white back pages. As well as some special issues for up and coming photographer friends.

I had attended the Playboy Party like a Rock Star party several times. It was an amazing dream come true.

I admired him bringing nudity to mainstream. Instead of being ashamed of the human body appreciating it. He did so much for charities and especially animals which I didn’t even know about until att neon genesis the mansion.

He lived an amazing life and left a legacy that changed and shaped many many lives. R.I.P. Hugh Hefner and god bless!

Getting out and seizing the Day…. 

I thought that I was lost.and for a long time I was trying to find my way back to everything I loved. Acting, modeling, photography, creativity. Being social!  With. Y grandma passing away I thought I would lose myself more but the opposite has happened. I find myself alive. I find. Us elf back out looking for sting and getting back out there.today I went to Manhattan to the Natural Museum of History and wandered around Columbus Circle and ate at the porter houseIt was great and I know my grandmas spirit is with me. And I believe they with all my heart. So I am BACK and love it! Fro. The dark comes light and grandmas light is and will be my brightest of lights!🙏🏼

What a day

Today was fun my friend Deborah and I thank god for her! Moved tons of clutter to my storage unit but she helped me get rid of some stuff and she is a blessing. She said she got her work out in. I am grateful to have. Friend like her and thankful the universe brooght her in my life. She is a positive influence and she makes me think in ways that sometimes I forget and I am blessed for that.

Can’t sleep ugh

I wake up not sure why…. there is an app I am in love with for working out to get hose few minutes in. Runtastic squats rocks! U can put it on ur phone and do your squats anywhere each day to get ur squats in and it feels great to know your doing it. And there is no excuse. Heck do it in a public bathroom lol

Xoxo night